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Saturday, November 23, 2019

11 Ways To Always Be Happy Around Unhappy People

November 23, 2019 0
11 Ways To Always Be Happy Around Unhappy People





11 Ways To Always Be Happy Around Unhappy Peoplebe happyIf you’ve been around an unhappy person before, you probably know that their negativity can often drag you down very, very quickly. They can change the tone of a room and bring down an otherwise happy mood.
So how can you combat these negative nancies? Is there anything you can do to keep your positive thinking up, even when other people’s moods are clawing away at you?Gratitude is a magical thing. It automatically makes situations more loving and positive.
 As such, you can express your appreciation to these unhappy people regularly,
and it may help them to remove themselves from their more negative patterns.
 Here are some things to thank them for:
  • Helping to pass you something
  • Speaking their mind even when it may have been difficult
  • Providing you with new perspectives
  • Taking the time to listen to your ideas
This doesn’t mean you should be a pushover – it just means using positive reinforcement
 where it applies.
Don’t forget to maintain your gratitude for the world and your life, too.
Sometimes, being around negative people can make you forget about the things you’re
 thankful for. Keeping a gratitude journal and listing three to five things you’re grateful
 for every day can be helpful in this respect. You can write that you are thankful for:
  • Your career
  • Your friends, family, and loved ones
  • The roof over your head
  • Your access to necessities
  • Meals you enjoyed
  • Your favorite movies, shows, books, and music
  • Your good health
2. DON’T FOCUS ON THEIR LACK OF HAPPINESS
It’s difficult not to dwell too much on someone’s lack of happiness to an extreme level.
 After all, they’re always in a bad mood, and that can rub off on you. It can also make you
 focus a lot on their negativity, making you complain about them to others.
That’s how unhappiness can be so contagious. Other people dwell on their feelings,
 which causes us to dwell on their emotions, which causes you to become unhappy.
 It’s a perpetual cycle, and it’s one you can’t win unless you’re making sure you aren’t focusing
 on that negativity.
So don’t give them the power to change your way of thinking! It’s not worth your time, effort,
 or energy.
3. UNDERSTAND THAT THEY HAVE THEIR JOURNEY
It’s easy to judge unhappy people, especially if you’ve come a long way in your battle
against negativity. But it’s not your place to demand happiness out of them.
The truth is that you don’t know this person’s life story. You don’t know what they’re
 going through. And, quite frankly, it’s probably none of your business. They may be going
 through a difficult time, needing long periods to recover or process the emotions they feel.
This person will likely move on and be happy one day when they are ready, but that’s for them
to figure out in their own time. Instead of wishing they would “just be happy,” be supportive and
 kind to them. They’re on a difficult journey.
4. DON’T TAKE IT PERSONALLY
Unhappy people generally aren’t unhappy because of something you’ve said or done.
They’re miserable because that’s the mindset they’re in. So don’t take it too personally.
You can’t control other people’s thoughts or emotions, after all.
But it’s difficult not to wonder if it’s your fault when an unhappy person does certain
 negative things. They might:
  • Say something a little mean about you
  • Leave you out of the loop about something work-related
  • Ignore you or leave you alone
  • Roll their eyes at something you talk about
  • Turn down invites or cancel plans with you
Should you allow yourself to be mistreated? Of course not.
But at the same time, as you stand up for yourself, don’t let it get to your feelings and mess with
 your head. These people are dealing with fears and insecurities due to a lack of positive
 coping mechanisms. It’s not you. It’s them.
5. MANAGE HOW MUCH YOU ENGAGE WITH UNHAPPY PEOPLE
Humans are social creatures by habit. It’s how we engage with each other and find those
 we can relate to on a deeper level, and social interaction is known to foster positive
 thinking and health. But what happens when that interaction is mainly negative?
The problem with socializing as an empathic human being is that you tend to mirror
 those around you naturally. You pick up on the energy of a room and the mood of a gathering
, whether it’s good or bad.
So when you spend time with unhappy people, you may wind up getting caught in a
 whirlwind of sadness, tangled in their webs. That’s why you need to limit the amount of time
 you spend engaging with unhappy people.
If you notice that you’re beginning to get affected by the things these people say or do,
 respectfully excuse yourself. It’s okay for you to set healthy boundaries with those who are
bringing you down. In fact, you should set healthy boundaries with everyone.
6. CHALLENGE YOURSELF TO GROW FROM THIS
Having to be around negative people is rough. Their unhappiness can hurt you and be
 challenging to deal with. But instead of dwelling on how awful the situation is, tell yourself
 that this is something you will learn and grow from.
This simple perception shift seems mild, but it’s powerful. Instead of complaining about things
, see it as an opportunity to improve yourself. Then, the next time you’re in a similar situation
, you’ll be able to shrug it off, no sweat.
Besides, no matter how rough it is for you – it’s nowhere near as painful as whatever the
 unhappy people are experiencing that is making them so sad all the time. Count your blessings
 with positive thinking and work to be a better person!
7. BE HAPPY–CHANGE THE WAY YOU VIEW THEM
Even the most unhappy people have some redeeming qualities somewhere! Instead
 of focusing on the negative, look for good things about them. This can be about their:
  • Appearance
  • Work ethic
  • Personal beliefs or values
  • Sense of style
  • Certain traits they have, like being a good listener
  • Talents or skills
Changing the narrative you’ve made of someone in your head is a powerful way to alter
 your entire viewpoint. Instead of focusing on what you hate, focus on things you can learn to like
Soon, you may not even mind that these people can be downers!
8. TAKE TIME TO BE AWAY FROM UNHAPPY PEOPLE
We’ve already talked about the virtues of not engaging with unhappy people constantly.
 Now, you have to learn when to step back and take time away on a more serious level.
This is especially crucial if you work with or live with these unhappy people.
When you need to step away from these people and recenter your thoughts, do so.
 Don’t neglect your me-time during this period. You need to stay in touch with yourself
 and who you indeed are so you don’t get influenced by their negativity.
As a rule, me-time is essential even when you’re living your best life in the most favorable
 and positive circumstances. It can help you de-stress, process negative emotions, and
 make smart decisions. Here are some great ways to get me-time:
  • Exercise
  • Write in a journal
  • Perform meditation
  • Enjoy a hobby
  • Cook a nice meal
  • Treat yourself to a spa day, shopping trip, or new activity
9. USE HUMOR AND CHEERFULNESS
Sometimes, a little bit of humor can diffuse an otherwise tense and awkward situation
 with unhappy people. You can do this by:
• Cracking Jokes
If you’re good at telling jokes, show off your skills by cracking some whenever things
get too tense. You can joke about yourself, the situation, or anything else. Just keep it positive!
• Switch A Tone
Are things getting too serious in a discussion about something that isn’t very important?
 Switch it up! Change the tone and talk about the event in a positive light. This can help
 to move to mood from doom and gloom to something more productive.
• Talk About Happy Things
When you get the chance to start a conversation around unhappy people,
chat about something positive that makes you happy.
This can prevent things from going south when someone inevitably starts complaining.
10. FOCUS ON YOURSELF
When all the negativity gets to be too much, turn your thoughts inwards and focus on yourself.
 Some people think this is a vain thing to do, but it isn’t
. After all, you’re the only person you’ll be with for the rest of your life.
 You come first unless you decide otherwise.
 Here are some tips for self-focus in the face of unhappy individuals:
  • Pay attention to the emotions, thoughts, and instincts you’re having
  • Value yourself about the unhappy people; put yourself first
  • Don’t waste your energy on attempting to change someone’s feelings
  • Focus on things you enjoy or on things that interest you and ignore naysayers
  • Consider your experiences valid
  • Try to emulate those who you do like, and become the best version of you
happy people11. BE KIND
Compassion is the quickest way to get through to someone. Just a simple kind act can help an
 unhappy person to be even a little bit more favorable for the day.
 Think about it – haven’t you had one kind gesture brighten up your entire day before?
As the saying goes, sometimes you have to kill it with kindness.
 Sometimes, an unhappy person needs a little show of compassion to make them feel better.
 You can be kind by:
  • Giving them a smile
  • Saying a warm greeting
  • Holding the door open for them
  • Helping them carry items
  • Doing them a favor
  • Buying them a coffee or similar drink
  • Complimenting them honestly
The positive vibes that we put out into the world are often contagious
. Of course, it won’t always work, but when it does, it’ll be magical – and when it doesn’t,
 you’ll still feel good from doing something genuinely lovely.unhappy peopleIt’s a bummer to be around unhappy people all the time. You may not know why they’re upset
, but you can do what you can to keep yourself happy despite their negativity.
 When you know how to master your positivity, nothing can stand in your way! Be happy!



x



HERE ARE 11 WAYS TO REMAIN HAPPY WHEN AROUND UNHAPPY PEOPLE


Scientists Explain Why People Who Quiet Their Minds Live Longer

November 23, 2019 0
Scientists Explain Why People Who Quiet Their Minds Live Longer






Scientists Explain Why People
Who Quiet Their Minds Live Longer

live longer by quieting the mind

Our brain is one energy-intensive organ. Though weighing just three pounds, it consumes about one-fifth of the body’s energy supply. The human mind is a beautiful, massively-complex piece of work comprised of billions of neurons and trillions of synaptic connections.
The sheer processing power of the brain is on display wherever we look.
 Humans have built vehicles that can traverse space, create medicines to cure fatal diseases
, and design tiny microchips capable of running just about everything imaginable.
But all of this comes at a high price. Namely, a brain that is always on,
 and that is never really at rest.
We experience this first hand as the voice in our head that never shuts up.
Try closing your eyes for five minutes and focusing on your breath.
 Unless you’re an experienced meditator, thoughts are going to pummel your mind.
 Emotions like anxiety and boredom will quickly make themselves at home.
Worse yet, we humans have somehow decided that this mental state is normal.
 We call it “The Human Condition.” In actuality, there’s nothing ordinary about it.
It may be shared – perhaps even universal – but it isn’t normal by any sense of the word.

HOW CAN WE “QUIET” OUR BRAIN?

The question then becomes: what can we do about this mind of ours?
How can we take advantage of its formidable intellectual capability without being barraged
 by thoughts and emotions?
In this article, we’re going to discuss the immense benefits of learning to quiet your mind.
To do so, we’ll take a quick but deep dive into the field known as contemplative science.
Finally, we’ll break down a fascinating study capable of transforming how we think about
mental activity.

THE WANDERING MIND ISN’T A HAPPY MIND

In 2010 Harvard Psychologists Daniel T. Gilbert and Matthew A. Killingsworth published a study
 in the journal Science titled “A Wandering Mind Is an Unhappy Mind.”
The objective of the paper was to ascertain the “emotional consequences” of mind wandering.
Therefore, the duo developed an iPhone application (‘app’), which asked participants about
 “thoughts, feelings, and actions … as they went about their daily activities” at random intervals
. When subjects were “pinged” by the app, they answered three questions:
1) A happiness question: “How are you feeling right now?” answered on a sliding called from 0
 (‘very bad’) to 100 (‘very good’).
2) An activity question: “What are you doing right now?” wherein the participants were
 to select one or more of 22 activities.
3) A mind-wandering question: “Are you thinking about something other than what you’re
currently doing?” and were to select one of four potential answers: yes,
 something unpleasant; yes, something neutral; yes, something unpleasant; no.

THE FACTS ABOUT THIS DATA

Following data analysis, Gilbert and Killingworth observed three essential points.
First, that people’s mind wandered often. Mind-wandering was taking place in 47 percent of
all samples taken. Of these samples, it occurred in at least 30 percent of the time when doing
 any activity besides making love. In most cases, is percentage was much higher.
Second, people were most often unhappy when their mind was wandering – regardless
 of what they were thinking. On the plus side, people’s minds were more likely to wander
 to pleasant than unpleasant or neutral topics (42.5 percent, 26.5 percent, and 31 percent,
 respectively).
However, “people were no happier when thinking about pleasant than unpleasant or neutral
 things.” Concerning the latter two, people reported being significantly unhappier when the
 topic to where their mind wandered was neutral or unpleasant.
Lastly, what the participants were thinking was a more precise indicator of their happiness
 than what they were doing! The happiness variance (on the sliding scale) was more
 influenced by mind wandering than the activity. The research attributes just 4.6 percent
 of someone’s subjective happiness to the action itself, and their presence of mind
 (or lack thereof) to around 11 percent.
Killingsworth adds, “Mind-wandering is an excellent predictor of people’s happiness.
 In fact, how often our minds leave the present and where they tend to go is a better
 predictor of our happiness than the activities in which we are engaged.”
Let’s briefly discuss a field that is emerging out of such findings: contemplative science.

WHAT IS CONTEMPLATIVE SCIENCE?

Contemplative science is a growing field of scientific inquiry that seeks to understand
 the effects of a meditative state on the human mind and brain. A term first coined by B.
Alan Wallace – a former Tibetan Buddhism monk and founder of the Santa Barbara
 Institute for Consciousness Studies – contemplative science may also be called
 contemplative neuroscience.
Contemplative scientists often promote mental discipline to “[counteract] the effects of
 conative (intention and desire), attentional, cognitive, and affective imbalances”
 so commonplace in today’s society.
The chaos of modern living serves as the impetus of contemplative science.
 According to ancient Eastern wisdom traditions, the default mode of the human
 mind is way out of balance. It is out of balance because we haven’t learned how to
settle and focus our thoughts. Such are the premises that form the foundation for
 contemplative science.
Three questions that every contemplative scientist and practitioner eventually ask
 themselves are:
  1. Why is my mind chattering all the time?
  2. How can I shut it up?
  3. What are the benefits of doing so?
Which leads up to the next point.

STUDY: PEOPLE WHO QUIET THEIR MINDS LIVE LONGER

Last month, researchers from Harvard Medical School published a potentially groundbreaking
 study in the journal Nature. Per the research, neurons in our cortical networks show increased
excitability and the curbing of inhibitory factors as we get older.
(In the human brain, there are two types of transmitters, excitatory and inhibitory. Excitatory transmitters promote the generation of electrical signals in the brain while inhibitory transmitters
 suppress it.)
The team’s experimentation involved the investigation of donated brain tissue of individuals
 aged 60 to 100 who had died. Those who lived the longest – age 85 and older – demonstrated
 lower neural activity than those between the ages of 60 and 80.
Further, REST (‘RE1-Silencing Transcription factor’) in the brain was found to be more active
 in people who live longer. Per Wikipedia, the REST gene is “expressly involved” with the
 non-neuronal cells or glia.
Non-neuronal cells protect and support nerve by maintaining a state of dynamic equilibrium
 (homeostasis) and forming myelin, a protective insulating layer or sheath that forms around
 neurons.
REST proteins are also thought to help protect against dementia and other brain stressors.
The team then had to try and ascertain association or causality in their findings
 (the whole “correlation does not imply causation” thing.)
To do so, they “conducted a barrage of experiments,” which involved cell and molecular
 testing and analysis of various organisms. Among them: earthworms, genetically-altered
 mice, and additional brain samples of deceased centurions (people who lived over 1oo years.)

STUDY FINDINGS

The conclusion? That “altering neural excitation does indeed affect life span…”
These findings led the researchers to conclude that “neural excitation [is] linked to a
 shorter life, while suppression of overactivity appears to extend life span,” and that the
 REST protein “emerges as a key player” – or the driver – of these neural mechanisms.

your mind and electronicsFINAL THOUGHTS: HOW TO QUIET THE MIND

You probably did not need a scientific study to know those periods of rest and relaxation
 are beneficial for the mind and body. Not all rest, however, is created equal.
Namely, the ‘rest’ that’s no ‘rest’ at all — those periods of rest where the mind is still active.
 Resting the body does not necessarily imply that the brain is resting. You can be sitting on
 your duff doing nothing while your mind runs circles around itself.





It doesn’t matter if it’s golf, yoga, reading, napping, stretching, or meditation.
Here are a few other ideas:
– Body-scanning
– Mindful eating
– Playing sports
– Journaling
– Getting out into nature